Long Day

It's been a long day. :(
I'm tired. And I can't get to sleep.
Darn stomach. I'm tired of living with it.
Traffic was rediculous today. I hate after school traffic, especially now that it's no longer a part of my daily life.
Little siblings go to Lincoln, and the roads are horrible in that area. Not to mention there's a lot of people in that area who don't take crap from anybody, even if you're not giving them crap.
And just over all my patience is being extremely worn down. Trying to keep it strong, though.
Church Girls camp is next week. I don't know how I feel about going.

I had a horrible experience a few years ago that made me never want to go back. Girl's camp was a Winter Camp that year. Worst idea ever. 10 degrees outside, 80 degree cabins. In my family, camping is kind of a free-for-all thing. Yes, there's a general schedule of when we'll be doing things, but for the most part it's flexible. At girl's camp, the schedule is pretty much down to the second. Very uptight, and stressed more than it needs to be. Save some energy, keep more peace, I say just bring the whole thing down a notch.
So, girl's camp a few years ago. I was 13 and was just developing crohn's disease, though we weren't aware of it until about 6 months later. Winter camp. My cabin's room had a mixture of age groups in it. There was this group of about 5 girls who were only at camp because their moms made them and their church leaders made their moms make them. It was 3 in the morning the first night there and they were still talking. I hadn't gotten to sleep YET because they wouldn't shut up. We had to be up at 6:00 am. I've always been the type who gets sick if I don't get my sleef. So I politely and quietly said at 3:00 am "could you guys please stop talking? I can't sleep with the chatter." That night they ended up cussing me out, telling me I'm retarted and that if I don't shut up I'll wake everybody up. Being 13 and exhausted, they put me to tears. I didn't say any more after that. Didn't want to create a bigger problem than necessary. But they weren't done with me. Oh goodness no.
The next 2 nights they toilet papered the whole cabin. Big woop. You just grab a hunk in the center, pull it down and it's all gone. But it got bad when a friend of mine, who supported me that first night (all she said was "yeah, I'm still awake, too. Could you guys keep it down?") had the insoles of her brand new shoes ripped out. At this time, my friend's family was going through an extremely hard time. Her mom was sick with a new born baby and her dad was out of work due to a severely fractured wrist. Not making any money pretty much. New shoes were a HUGE deal. NOT cool. But what really started to get to me was that the next day, a leader came to us and pulled us aside and said they heard there was an argument in our cabin last night. They MADE us apologize to the girls for telling them to shut up. "Shut up is not a nice thing to say, now. These girls are having some issues, so we need you to be nice to them." O__o We did apologize. I can't believe we did, but we did. Through the little camp-letters. They never apologized to us, of course.
Now note, they didn't do anything to anybody else. Just my friend and me.
Things got worse. On the last night, before we went to bed, I packed everything up so that I would be able to sleep in an extra half hour or so. I had set aside food to eat on the long ride home.
I woke up around 2:00 in the morning to running footsteps and seeing those girls' bunks empty. Then I sat up and found that there was thooth paste, shaving cream and honey in my hair and on my bed. I was already feeling sick during this trip, and the leader in my cabin was so sweet to me and she helped me to get everything out of my hair and took care of my pillow and sheets. I went back to sleep, but in the morning, once there was light, I discovered that not only did they put crap in my hair, they completely unloaded my bags and scattered my clothes and items and camp projects everywhere in all of the cabins. They stole all of my food and left the packages. I didn't know this at first, but the lady who came to be my favorite youth leader of all time ended up bringing me my underwear, telling me it had been hung in the icicles and laid in the snow all night long. This put me to tears, and she was crying, too, telling me she was so sorry this happened to me. The thing that frustrated me the most out of all of this is what happened next. One leader came up to me and told me I had no reason to be crying at all, I needed to stop and not take things so personally. Suck it up, get over it, and move on. If I hadn't been rude in the first place, none of this would have ever happened, so it's all really my fault. I need to grow up.

Because of those things, I've been horrified to go back to girl's camp. (plus, I just so happened to be out of town on the dates the last few years anyway...) Being sick with crohn's and having all sorts of stress and anxiety put on me already, I really haven't needed to put myself in potential situations to be taking crap from people, as well. It just hasn't been worth it.
This year though, there is nobody the same going. I'm doing MUCH better health wise. I get to be partly in charge of what goes on, aaaand it's summer camp, not winter camp. I hope so much that this year is one I won't regret going to....