Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson did not die. Though they supposedly have proof and whatnot, I don't belive it. I believe he is still out there, and I know exactly where, because I see Mr. Jackson every day. He is residing in Dubuque, Iowa.

Why he chose here, I don't know. Why does anybody choose here? Anytime anybody moves here and it isn't for John Deere, they're bombarded with the perplexed question "why Dubuque?"

I don't know why Dubuque was the choice, but I do know that he is on the run from the media and California. MJ clearly has some poor reputation, and what with the octomom and the state going bankrupt and everything else that is just going nuts out west, he just doesn't want to be a part of it anymore. Staged his death, and his agents got him out here asap. I don't know all the details, but I do know that he can run, but he aint hiding too well. He drives past my house every day! And I recognized him the very first time I saw him. Not that great of a job of staying disguised, wouldn't you agree? And when I'm out driving I often come across his vehicle with him in it. Today on my way to work even, I went through a green light and he was perpendicular to me at his red light. I was on Highway 20, he was on Devon.

The car I see is a silver Mini Cooper exactly like this one:

He needs this kind of car incase he needs a fast get away. I've heard these cars can be quite speedy. Plus, he's an upper class guy, he can afford it, and he can afford something that looks nice. I doubt he wanted to get a car like mine, one that qualifies for the cash for clunkers deal. Though I probably wouldn't have noticed him if he got a junky car. This nice car really stands out in this largely middle class town, and you can't help but to look to see who is driving such an elegent vehicle. So poor decision making there, Mr. Pop Star. (though I do really love the car).

I can recognize him by his hair, how it's dark and kind of waves around his face in that curtainy kind of way.

Exactly like that.

Always dressed nice, with a collared button-up shirt and a suit jacket to go over it. Sometimes the shirt has a few unbuttoned buttons. Also, the extremely dark sunglasses with a tiny tiny nose and chin, bony cheeks and some shade of red lipstick, I just know it's gotta be him. Also, there is usually a cell phone to the ear. He's probably getting information from his agents around the clock about where he should go, what is in the news, and what he needs to worry about and what he doens't need to worry about. For trying to escape it all and relax, he seems to be one busy dude.

Though I doubt I'll ever get to meet him (nor do I have much interest in meeting the guy), I enjoy the satisfaction that comes from being able to grin and know where the king of pop is currently residing. :)

*I really have seen this car with a person driving in it who looks a heck of a lot like Michael Jackson. I find it rather amusing to come across this vehicle nearly every day. :)*