Reasons to Tailgate Me

Here is a list of reasons to tailgate (and ultimately rear-end) me that I have come up with due to an increased number of incidents I've had while driving in town.

1) My car is uglier than yours, so it's your loss when the damage is done.

2) My car is tougher than yours, so what will put a dent in my bumper will probably ruin your entire front end. (When I was 16, going 8 mph in a turn, I hit the corner of a minivan. Tiny little dent the size of my hand on my front bumper, barely noticeable, entire rear of the minivan had to be fixed. And I just hit a corner!)

3) 1 word: Hitch. I have one. And it's rusted on their permanently. Say "bye bye" to your radiator.

4) I'm not going to hate you for hitting me, I'll be friendly and sympathetic and let you use my phone if you need to. Though I might be laughing and shouting "I TOLD YOU SO!" on the inside.. only on the inside. ;)

5) I could use the money... and you could probably use the lesson. See? It's a win-win!!

There you have it.

What would be even better though would be if everybody just.. drove safe.

:|